Fertility for men and women from a Gentle Release perspective

Fertility is a subject entangled around my heart. After our own five year journey trying to conceive our beautiful daughter, I have lived it, the painful, uncompromising path it takes, tying you up in knots until you no longer resemble the person you used to be. When your closest friends, family and social media become daggers through your heart with the most innocent of comments or announcements. And all the while the monthly ebb and flow of your own cycle, and the torture that brings...that's if you're even lucky enough to be having regular cycles.

The fertility journey isn't just about hormones, sperm and eggs. It's about you and your partner, how you feel, your physical, emotional and spiritual health, how you live, and how you carry it all.

Gentle Release Therapy uses an extremely light touch to allow blocked energy to release and to help energy flow more freely once again. Some of the techniques use Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) theory as their foundation, others draw on cranial, lymphatic and endocrine release.

In Traditional Chinese Medicine, acupuncture has traditionally been used to support both men and women around fertility. In that tradition, acupuncture points are like motorway junctions along the meridians, the motorways, and each meridian is linked to an organ such as the Kidneys or the Liver. Each organ is understood to have its own role in the body and to be connected with different emotions. The Liver, for example, is traditionally associated with the ligaments and tendons, the eyes, and with anger and frustration. The Kidneys are associated with fear, the lower back, the knees, the ears, and with our reproductive energy. An acupuncturist supporting fertility would choose points specific to a person's TCM picture.

In Gentle Release Therapy we would first work gently with the organs themselves to allow any held energy to release, before moving to the acupuncture points and doing Gentle Release work in place of needling, if more support felt right. The extremely gentle cranial release works in a beautiful synergy with the release of the abdominal organs, valves, womb and ovaries, and really helps people let go of held emotional and physical tension at another level, allowing the whole body to settle.

Love your Liver

In Traditional Chinese Medicine the Liver is understood to govern the smooth flow of qi (energy) around the body, and Liver qi is traditionally linked with ovulation. Before a period, the tradition describes the Liver beginning to move the blood in the womb. When it is busy focusing there, qi is understood to flow less freely elsewhere, and that picture is associated with the emotional upsets, headaches, breast tenderness and cramps that so many women recognise in the days before bleeding. When the flow to the womb is understood to be struggling, the traditional picture is one of stagnation, and of the tension and discomfort that come with it.

Our lives are so busy, so full of stress, and we are surrounded by things the body has to process. In my experience most people arrive with an awful lot held around the Liver, particularly on a first visit. If someone comes to me with back pain, neck pain or for fertility support, I tend to start with the Liver, to allow the qi to flow and the ligaments and tendons through the whole body to soften. With less tension held, the body tends to feel more at ease, and we are already well on our way.

The average fertility journey does little to allow that free flow of qi. Anger and frustration about the whole situation so often build as each month passes, which only compounds how tightly everything is held. Self care with Gentle Release Therapy can help you gently release some of that frustration and anger yourself, though you may want to see a practitioner to allow the deeper, older layers to let go.

Kidney

In Traditional Chinese Medicine the Kidneys are understood to hold our deepest reserves. They are traditionally linked with birth, growth and reproduction, which is why they matter so much in my work, both with growing children and with people navigating fertility. Fear is the emotion traditionally connected with the Kidneys, and there is so much fear woven through the fertility journey.

Many people arrive having been given difficult news, low numbers, long odds, words that frighten. I can't change a test result, and I would never claim to. What the work can offer is a gentle, held space for the fear and the exhaustion that sit around those results, so that the body is not carrying them quite so tightly.

In the tradition, Tian Gui is described as deriving from Kidney essence. In men it is understood to become sperm, stored in the Dan Tian, the 'Room of Essence', closely related to the energy of the Kidneys and to Du Mai, another meridian. In women, Tian Gui is understood to become menstrual blood, nourishing the womb and its lining.

I once had the privilege of working with a beautiful woman who had gone through premature menopause at sixteen, and who came to me during IVF using donor eggs. It was an exhausting, frightening process for her, held tightly for a very long time. What she noticed through our sessions was how much lighter she felt leaving them, more able to rest, more able to breathe through what was ahead of her. I can't tell you the work changed her medical picture, and I wouldn't. What I can say is that she felt genuinely supported alongside her treatment, and that meant a great deal to us both.

And then there is fear...so much fear around fertility. Fear of the next period, fear of not making love at the right time, fear of not getting pregnant, fear of another miscarriage, fear of another stillbirth, fear of a traumatic birth, fear that there is something wrong with you, fear of hearing someone else's announcement, fear of letting your partner down, fear of becoming a parent, fear of losing your life as you know it, fear that this may never happen, fear that you can't go on...tiring, isn't it. And that's another Kidney connection...tiredness.

People who have been on this journey a long time are so often exhausted by it. Tired of trying, tired of carrying all those emotions, and longing to just let some of it go. Easier said than done, but the people I see tend to report going home feeling lighter and more uplifted, with their energy flowing more easily, and things that felt so heavy before feeling a little less so.

Spleen

In Traditional Chinese Medicine the Spleen is associated with digestion, and with how we process not just food but thought. Overthinking and worry are the emotions traditionally linked with the Spleen, and they are so often part of the fertility picture, the endless turning-over, the what-ifs, the planning and re-planning. In the tradition the Spleen is said to prefer warmth and simple, nourishing food over too much sugar and refinement. This is an area that so often asks for gentle support and release in the people I see.

Heart and Womb

In Traditional Chinese Medicine the Heart is where we hold so much stress, worry and low mood, and gently allowing what's held there to release can make a real difference to how people feel, in body and in spirit.

The tradition describes the Bao Mai vessel as linking the Heart and the womb, which means that when emotional or spiritual troubles weigh on the Heart, the womb can feel it too. In a session we allow the held energy in the Heart and womb to release, each in its own time, and then gently support the connection between the two. Sometimes, after trauma, abuse or surgery, the Heart and womb become disconnected as a form of protection. With Gentle Release Therapy we would first allow the body and its energy to flow again, so that it has the capacity to let go of deeper emotions in a safe and nurturing way, and only when it is ready to.

Your body does all the work of releasing. We simply use our intuition and guidance to allow the body to unwind and detangle, while we hold a safe and supportive space.

There are a few extraordinary meridians traditionally understood to be involved with fertility, all originating in the womb in women and in the Room of Essence in men. In the tradition the Chong Mai communicates with all the other meridians and is said to look after the periods and the hormone cycle. It is described as the first meridian to form in the foetus. Ren, the conception meridian, is understood to supply our yin energies. Du, the governing meridian, is understood to supply our yang energies. Three more reasons for a little womb and Room love.

Ovaries

It goes without saying that the ovaries matter for fertility, and we work gently with these areas directly to allow any held energy to release, alongside the support we are offering through the other meridians. On another level, one that resonates deeply with me, I'd point you to the work of Tami Lynn Kent, a women's health physiotherapist who works with the pelvic bowl and the power held within it. Tami has written three beautiful books, and 'Wild Feminine' is a good place to start. (I teach the pelvic bowl work with her kind permission.) She describes the left ovary as the more feminine, holding beauty and sensuality, playfulness, daydreaming and, most importantly, your creativity. The right ovary she describes as more masculine, the part that puts your creations and ideas out into the world and gets things done. I've seen how gently releasing what's held in these areas can help people find their way to the path they are meant to be on. I've also worked with male clients with what we call the left and right energy centres, in the areas the ovaries would sit on a woman. I avoid the testicles, for obvious reasons. These sessions have been quietly enlightening, with real shifts in people's lives.

Body alignment and pelvic imbalance

Gentle Release Therapy is my first choice when people come to me with aches and pains such as hip or back pain. To complement the abdominal releases I've already mentioned, the cranial release is key in allowing the neck and pelvis to soften and rebalance, so the whole structure can feel more at ease. It also offers another layer of release for the abdominal organs, as more of the tension held in the body melts away.

Emotional blocks and the path to parenthood

I've talked about the TCM organs and how each is traditionally linked with a different emotion, but of course our emotions are more complex than that. They weave webs held in the body. Anger may be held by fear, the womb may be held by frustration or overthinking. Gentle Release Therapy offers a gentle way to allow these webs, and the stories our bodies hold, to untangle and release. Often we don't even know what it is that's releasing. We just let it go. I have specific techniques for fertility clients where we gently explore the road ahead, from conception through to becoming a parent, to see whether the body is holding anything around particular stages of the journey. It's always so enlightening what these sessions reveal, and people are often amazed and relieved in equal measure, and curious to see what comes next.

What next...

...if you are trying to conceive

If you'd like gentle, hands-on support, you can find a qualified Gentle Release Therapy practitioner through our Find a Therapist directory. There are now practitioners trained in the advanced fertility work across the UK, so you may find someone near you.

If you'd like to begin gently at home, the Introduction to Gentle Release Therapy online course is a lovely first step, a self-paced way to bring the work to yourself and your family. Once you've begun, the Introduction to the Vagus Nerve course sits beautifully alongside it, for settling a stressed nervous system.

...if you'd like to train in Gentle Release Therapy

The Gentle Release Therapy Practitioner Training is a practical course covering the abdominal organs, cranial, spine, emotional, lymphatic and endocrine release. That's enough to begin supporting fertility clients, and the Advanced Training goes deeper into fertility specific work, alongside menopause, acu-touch and more.